


Thank You.

by the-black-birb (moriturism)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, F/M, Not Beta Read, Reader-Insert, Sad Oikawa Tooru
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-23 07:48:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23274703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moriturism/pseuds/the-black-birb
Summary: In the midst of falling in love, somehow you break your own heart.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Reader
Kudos: 81





	Thank You.

When Oikawa and his girlfriend broke up, the whole world knew.

The gossip forums were gossiping. His fan club was torn apart. Some were ecstatic that their king was newly available. Others were distraught that he had his heart broke (and a select few thought him being taken was part of the appeal). The volleyball team expected a moody number one, with killer serves and impossible sets to boot. But practice continued surprisingly smoothly, only with a somewhat quiet captain.

But, to Oikawa’s dismay, the world kept spinning.

When you heard Oikawa broke up with her, you were truly surprised. They seemed happy, you thought. He smiled with her and looked just as breathless and model-like as he did before the two of you met. He held her hand and took photos with her and kissed her cheek, just like boyfriends were supposed to do. Oikawa Tooru, true to his reputation, was the perfect boyfriend.

Iwaizumi had stopped giving you updates on Oikawa when he started dating her. You didn’t mind. Clearly, he had moved on from you, and that was fine. If he was okay, you didn’t need to hear about him. But he wasn’t.

When you and Tooru stopped talking, no one except for Iwaizumi knew.

You weren’t sure what you had was enough to call a _relationship._ The two of you went to different schools, the ‘dates’ you went on were always far away from the public eye, and you never _really_ had a label for the fire between the two of you. You and Tooru were never anything more than friends.

You and Tooru were friends, who had keys to each other’s house. You were friends that saw each other every Monday when he brought his nephew to volleyball practice, and you brought your little sister. You were friends, who accidentally kissed the first time he walked you home. You were friends, who called each other on restless nights to stare at the same sky.

Once, he stayed on call with you all night until you fell asleep. When you woke up the next morning, you could hear him snoring.

But, when Tooru was with you, he was all yours. None of his fans knew, nor his teammates. You didn’t tell your friends, worried about the outrage. Tooru was all yours, and you were all his.

Sometimes, you wondered if you gave away _too_ much of yourself to him.

You gave Tooru milk bread and aliens. Last week, you saw a vintage poster for ET and you felt your heart breaking beneath your ribs.

You gave him volleyball. When you passed boys on the court on the way home, you wanted to take their ball and throw it far, far away. They’d never look as at home in the court as he did, so what was the point?

You gave him the way you looked in the light of the stars, when nothing else mattered in the world but the two of you.

You wondered what Tooru gave to you. You wondered if he’d worn the sweatshirt of his you gave back the last time you spoke. Or if he’d kissed her the same way he kissed you. Slowly, at first, like he might break you, and then suddenly on fire. If he held her waist like he’d never see her again, or if he cried on her shoulder the first time he lost against Karasuno.

You wondered what little moments he couldn’t have again because of you.

Still, it was _your_ choice to stop talking. You asked him if you could end _whatever_ it was between the two of you.

School was hard as a third year. You were preparing for college, and to have a life. Tooru had been clear with you that volleyball was an undeniable part of his, and you were okay with that. If it was you or volleyball, he would choose volleyball. And you, with your own ambitions and aspirations, could understand that.

But you didn’t know how much it would hurt to be his. Or rather, _not_ his. You were a secret to be kept. In order to be protected from his fangirls, and to make both of your lives easier, it was better for him not to say anything at all. You tried to understand that, too, and at first you didn’t mind. You didn’t need everyone to know, just Tooru.

And then, you did. Because you doubted if he truly meant that. Or maybe he just didn’t want them to see _you._ Maybe _you_ weren’t enough. You pushed away your doubts, desperately, knowing that Tooru was a good person.

But suddenly, everyday was a chore. He was distraught over losing to Karasuno. You got it. He thought this would be the year he could make it to nationals. _Three_ years of being a “powerhouse” school, but not once did they go to Tokyo. You got it.

You never told him you loved him. Back then, you weren’t sure if you did. In retrospect, there was no doubt in your mind. You loved him, and it was scary. You gave so much of yourself to him, and you were vulnerable and scared. He was relying on you everyday to be okay and you wanted to be there for him _so badly._ But, what if he saw you couldn’t make him happy? What if he saw you were only good for comforting him, and no good for being in love with?

And, suddenly, you couldn’t handle it.

“Let’s stop this.” It was a Thursday afternoon and the sun was setting over the café the two of you would always meet at. Tooru was drinking earl gray tea with extra cream, just how he liked it. You had a black coffee and a chocolate cake. It was your turn to pay.

“Huh?”

He thought he misheard you.

“Let’s stop talking for a bit. College applications are rough. School is getting tough. I need to focus on me,” you explained. He stared at you plainly.

“Oh. I’m not sure what to say.”

“It’s okay,” you replied, looking into your mug. “I’ve got to get home early today to take care of my sis. Here’s your jacket, I washed it. I’ll see you around.”

You texted Iwaizumi immediately. Check in on him, you begged him. Make sure he is okay. Tell him he’ll find someone better. Find someone he’s not afraid to post online, or tell everyone about.

For a few weeks, Iwaizumi did as you asked. He told you how Tooru was doing and you gave him tips on how to comfort him. Even though you weren’t _talking_ to Tooru, you were still caring for him. A pit formed in your stomach, sure that this was the worst possible way to get over him. But, you assured yourself, he just needed space from _you._ You were enabling him to wallow for so long. _You_ were the reason he wasn’t getting happier. You were guilty and in love and heartbroken and for goodness sake you just wanted _him_ to be okay.

Then, you got a text from your friend at Seijoh.

_You won’t BELIEVE who I’ve cuffed!!!!!_

And then an image.

You had just dropped your little sister off at volleyball practice. You started getting their early, because you knew Oikawa got their late.

That night, your mother picked her up in your stead.

Iwaizumi stopped texting you after that, but you didn’t need him to update you on Oikawa’s life anymore. Suddenly, he was everywhere.

Every date they went on, every kissed they shared, and every moment together was public. He looked _happy_ , although his smile never really met his eyes.

He was probably just tired, you told yourself.

Your friend was ecstatic. She told you about him all the time. “Oikawa bought me flowers!” “Oikawa gave me his jacket!”

She wore it when the two of you went to get lunch one day. He never let you wear his team jacket, because he needed it for competitions. You liked the alien sweatshirt better, though, because he’d had it before he even went to Seijoh and it smelled less like sweat and more like him.

She seemed happy enough with his track jacket, though.

“What should I get him for Valentine’s Day?” she asked you suddenly. You were caught off guard. You’d never had a Valentine’s Day with him.

“Well…” you trailed off. “I’m sure he’s getting a lot of chocolate from his fan club. Why don’t you get him something different that he likes…maybe tea?”

She furrowed her eyebrows. “Do you think he likes tea?”

You almost laughed. _How does she not know he drinks tea?_

“Maybe. I hear earl gray is good for relieving stress? He might be appreciative of that, with college exams and all,” you feigned ignorance. She seemed excited at your idea, however, and quickly dragged you to the store to pick out the perfect tea.

You helped her, of course. Not only because you knew the exact brand Oikawa kept at home for special occasions, but because she was your friend and you loved her and hoped she was happy. You hoped he was happy, too.

And then, they broke up.

It was as if the whole world had been set on fire.

She called you, in tears. He hadn’t given her a clear reason, really.

“I need to focus on me,” he told her, and you could hear his voice. “I’ve got a lot of work to do and I’m just not happy with you.”

She asked you, sobs bubbling up in her voice, _“Why wasn’t I enough? Why aren’t I enough?”_ But it wasn’t her voice you heard.

When she had finally calmed down and hung up to go finish her homework, you found it in you to go visit your café.

You weren’t really sure what you intended on doing. For memories sake, maybe. For the first time since you had met Oikawa, you were ready to let go of him. He was choosing to make himself better, and you were proud of him for that.

Before Oikawa was yours, the café had been yours, too. You went there with your friends, and your younger sister. You went there when you found out you got into your dream high school, and when you had your first breakup long ago.

But then, the café was Tooru’s. You hadn’t been there since you broke up, afraid the heartbreak would be all too much again.

That day, you walked in as yourself again. You came home, all on your own.

“Hey.”

Of course, that didn’t mean you were alone.

Sitting at the far end of the café and looking out the window sat a familiar face. In front of him was an earl gray tea with extra cream, a black coffee, and a chocolate cake.

“I thought I might find you here.” He didn’t smile at you, but pressed his lips into a straight line. The corners of his eyes dragged down.

Wordlessly, you sat in front of him.

“Thank you for the tea,” he told you. “I don’t want anything from you, I swear. You can pretend to not know me after this, or to know me. Whatever you want. But could we talk, just for a little bit?”

You nodded, holding back the tears threatening to slip from your eyes.

“Of course, Tooru. We can always talk.”


End file.
